By Ashly Hospodka

Twenty-two. I’m four years removed from eighteen and only three years away from a fully developed frontal lobe. That’s something to look forward to!

When you reach twenty-two, at least in my case, you’re about to graduate college and at your core, you know that everything is about to change and nothing will ever be the same again. You’re leaving school, probably for good! You might be moving away from family or friends. You’re on the path of getting your first grown up job with the degree you spent four years (if you’re me five lol) crying, stressing, and caffeinating over just to get. You’re making a life on your own by yourself.

While I know a lot of my big milestones are still before me, it feels like the most socially recognized ones are in the past. No one really talks about what it’s like to start your career, leave your first relationship, what it means to create a life in this world, or what it’s like to really get to know yourself. It’s all about getting your license, senior prom (which I didn’t get by the way, covid grad :/), high school graduation, starting college and turning twenty-one. It feels like those are the most celebrated milestones in life other than marriage or having a kid. It’s easy to forget you have so much ahead of you and it’s hard to grasp a lot is left in the past.

Have you ever felt nostalgic over a memory? A friendship that ended? A house you moved out of that you’ll never get to step foot inside again? A moment in time when things were just different? it’s hard to accept that we can never go back. One of the thoughts I’ve been struggling with lately is that I can never feel like a teenager again. The constant excitement, knowing a fun opportunity is around every corner, being rebellious and pushing boundaries. Everything felt new. New things in adulthood are not fun, they’re scary!! Everything is such high stakes compared to the lighthearted firsts of the teenage years.

“I got my first kiss!”

to

“I got my first apartment! But I have to work to pay for it.”

People say time heals all but sometimes time can feel like the enemy. Time is not a helper or a healer, it’s a cruel reminder that as humans we have to accept change. I know, I know, CYNICAL right? But you know it’s true. I’m willing to bet you’ve felt the exact same way before too, or at least I hope you have so I know I’m not alone.

Whether I’m twenty-two or sixty-two, I know living is learning to accept change, but I’m going to make the best of the years, the changes, and all that comes with the scary new firsts of adulthood.

Thanks for reading!

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